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Taylor Swift Confirms She’s Dating Mr. Unknown’s Helmet

MIAMI — Addressing the swirling rumors about her love interest being closely associated with her ex-boyfriend Daniel Ricciardo’s former teammate, musician Taylor Swift released a statement Monday confirming that she’s dating Mr. Unknown's helmet.

“It’s true — I am currently in a serious, committed relationship with the brain bucket of Mr. Unknown, and I couldn’t be happier,” said the 34-year-old, who is nearly 16 years older than the helmet and maintains she never once interacted with it while she was still involved with Daniel Ricciardo, despite insiders providing photographic proof of the contrary.

“Everyone needs to stop making such a big deal about this. It’s not like I’m dating one of Daniel’s sweatshirts. We met long after the breakup through a mutual acquaintance separate from the team, and the rest is history. It’s not weird at all. We share all the same interests, like loud and covering things, and we couldn’t be more in sync on an intellectual level. Mr. Unknown isn’t too happy about it but we can’t deny our once-in-a-lifetime connection just to please others.”

At press time, Taylor hinted that the helmet was going to propose, saying she had found a ring box hidden inside it.